Building a Healthy Relationship: When To Let Go and When To Stay

Building a Healthy Relationship: When To Let Go and When To Stay

In May of 2016, my hubby and I decided to tie the knot and it was one of the best decisions we have ever made. Let me remind you, relationships are not easy and they do require work. Whether it's a friendship or a romantic relationship. We're now going on 2 years of marriage and I have learned so much from being with this wonderful human being, so I thought it may be wise to share. Here are my advice on how to build a healthy relationship and when to let go or stay.

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Society's Standard of a Good Man


 A few days ago I was listening to a Podcast with Ayesha Curry (Steph Curry’s Wife), where she mentioned something that I can definitely relate to and probably some of you can as well. When asked the question “Do you agree with the media that Steph Curry is whipped?” She answered and said, “Absolutely not! Why is it when a man respects his wife he’s whipped?”.

Ayesha curry's response was just perfect! But really? Why is it when a man respects a woman he is considered whipped? Ladies, please do not conform to society's standard of a "Good Man" and settle for less. Every person deserves someone who respects them, and with love comes respect. I remember hearing similar statements from family and friends after they met my husband, especially from those who were single. Nonetheless, I didn't care, simply because I married a man who is Respectful, Trustworthy, Confident, Ambitious, Good Looking and knows who he is in God.To my singles, and those who experienced this before, I've got news for you." Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hope, always perseveres." In other words Love = Whipped.

You don't have to take my silly advice. But, I believe as women, we should desire someone who knows how to love and exudes the characteristics of love. Disrespect and Pride do not make a man strong. Neither does commitment issues. It's a mask for their weaknesses. Money or materialistic things do not make a man more manly either. These things come and go, and little do you know that money does not make a happy relationship. Choose wisely sistas! 

To that Strongman. Keep on being kind. Keep on being respectful and exuding the characteristics of love. Your future daughters and sons have a great role model. To that wise woman. Keep on loving and respecting that strong man. To my wonderful husband Aaron Johnson, we're equally whipped and I appreciate and love you for being the strong and amazing Husband that you are. 

What We Think Love Means Vs. What It Truly Means


For all my millennials in a relationship or just got out of one, here is some advice. When God sends you love "love from a companion" you will know. Love cannot be forced, it's not temporary and it will always stay true. Though this may sound like peaches and cream lol, please know that loving someone is not easy. Love gets tested daily and the enemy is constantly looking to break the cords of love. However, stay in God's words, seek his guidance and he will renew your strength daily to share the same love Christ has for the Church.

If you're in a relationship and you're confused, seek God daily. He will lead you in the right direction. Whether it is to leave, stay or press pause. You don't need to be stressed out. Get in the book of 1 Corinthians and God will show you the characteristics of love. Another great book for millennials is Proverbs.

A good relationship is when two people can accept and love each other despite their faults. Love is not what many think it is. It's not an emotion but its merely a choice. It's the choice of being patient, kind, gentle, trustworthy, hopeful, supporting, never failing and humble. To truly love someone it takes time, and we must first love ourselves.

In past relationships I didn't know how to love. One, I didn't know how to love myself and was seeking love in the wrong place. However, when God sent my husband, he helped me understand what love truly means and he's teaching me daily through my marriage.


The Importance Of Guarding Our Minds


A few weeks ago I sat in a beautiful church service where the pastor touched on the importance of guarding our minds. He mentioned something so important, "Our thoughts become reality and sometimes we think ourselves into situations and things that don't exist", and this particular statement really struck me. I'm not quite sure how many of you have been through this before but, in my quiet moments my mind would worry, and depending on what I'm thinking I would become discontent with where I'm at in life despite all the beautiful opportunities God has blessed me with. In some cases, I would start to feel stressed out or even depressed to the extent of where I would shut away from anything and everyone around me. Some may call it desiring personal space, however, in some instances, it is a blatant attack from the enemy on our minds. With all that is going on today, it's safe to say that we should always stay prayed up and vigilant wherever we go since the enemy is everywhere.Philippians 4:8 states, "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." I really like this scripture because, in those moments, it gives me clear instructions of the types of thoughts I should be thinking of and instantaneously I'd feel a whole lot better. I wanted to share this because I know how much our minds can affect us if we don't guard it and all we need to fix the issue is God's word. Many may not have witnessed the power of God's words in their lives as yet, but it takes people like you and me to share our experiences with them. So, the next time the enemy tries to attack your mind, just whisper that sweet little scripture and he will have no choice but to flee. 


God loves and care for us and will never plant any negative thoughts in our mind to affect our day. He is the God of Love, Joy Peace, Happiness, Faith, Grace, and prosperity and he will never leave us nor forsake us. Stay blessed and share this with a friend who may need it. 

3 Types of People I Had To Let Go of In Order To Grow

There comes a time in every individual's life where he or she starts to evaluate life on a deeper and intimate level. Fortunately, I have been in that phase for the past 3 years and I'm still here. There's no better way to describe where I am in my life but just a phase of indecisiveness, Instability, and Spontaneity; I just can't make up my mind, yet I'm very sure that this is a part of my personal growth process. Nonetheless, there is one thing I am pretty aware of and that is the 5 types of people I had to let go of in order to grow. 

This was not an easy thing to do, but in order to be where I am today and to prepare for where I will be, it was vital for me to  evaluate my circle of friends and people I surround myself with. One of you might be in the same phase currently, so here is the list to get you started on your path to creating a  new and healthier circle of friends. P.S Before I state this list, I would like to add that this article is in no way permission to disrespect or look down on anyone and though they my not be a good fit for your circle, it's always right to be kind. 

1. Negative Nancy

This is that one friend that sees the glass half empty. Everything that comes out of their mouth is just pure negativity. I anyone's transition period to become a better person, it is always great to get rid of all the Negative Nancy in their lives. There is nothing that you cannot do, as God has given you the authority to speak over your life. He has given you the authority to speak "Life" and not "Death". This type of friend can become a burden and may hinder your goals. 

2. Gossip Gabby

Gossipping about anyone is never a good thing  to do. As I mentioned above, we must speak life and not death, and to be very truthful, I have been apart of gossip before. Gossiping hinders relationship and sometimes with the right circle of friends. If there is a friend in your life that won't stop chatting about other people, then it might be a good idea to find a little hiding spot so they can't find you. 

3. The Jealous Friend

In James 3:14 it says, "But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth". Jealousy is a deadly thing and if you have a friend that possess that quality, then you need to stay clear. The bible said a friend loves at ALL times, so there is no reason why your friend should be jealous of you. Regardless if you are accomplishing your goals or not they should be happy for you. If you have this friend in your life please be very careful.